Walk into a Starbucks or most any coffee shop and they will ask whether or not you want “room.” Usually I request “no room.” “Room” refers to the amount of room left between the level of coffee in the cup and the top edge of the cup. Typically, if you want to add sugar and/or cream you ask for “room” which results in space in the cup to add either or both. Or, if you simply want a safety margin so as not to spill, you would also ask for “room.” If not, you say “no room” like I frequently do to maximize the coffee.
This is often like my life – and maybe yours. I regularly have “no room” … no room for the unexpected (which I should come to expect), no room for random acts of kindness, no room for taking an extra minute or two with someone, no room to extend a helping hand, no room for patience, no room for …
Life with “no room” is not as sweet or creamy, and a bit unsafe. So go ahead, start your day with your cup of coffee and “leave some room.”
I love meditating on the concept of TIME. We have ALL the time possible, yet constantly we want more. I get triggered when someone tells me, “I don’t have time.” Liar! You do have time – you have exactly the same amount as everyone else living on this planet. The truth is you are making choices with your time. So own your choices. Stop being a victim believing you are being cheated by not having enough. You do have enough … you are simply choosing NOT TO DO different things by choosing TO DO certain things.
We all have 168 hours in a week—no more, no less. Our time is limited … and ALL of our time is going to be spent. I recommend being deliberate over how you live every minute.
The greatest mistake we make is assuming that there is enough time for everything.
I just finished reading Patrick Lencioni’s latest business leadership fable – “Getting Naked: A Business Fable about Shedding the Three Fears that Sabotage Client Loyalty.” In Patrick’s classic way, he captures in a story fundamental principles that resonate in my business experience, especially as a service provider. The theme is to be vulnerable … to embrace uncommon levels of humility, selflessness and transparency for the betterment of the client. The book calls out three fears that often stand in the way of creating client loyalty and trust …
TheFEAR of LOSING BUSINESS … which tempts one to hold back feedback and avoid difficult issues to protect their client base and revenue stream.
TheFEAR of BEING EMBARRASSED … which causes one to hold back ideas and ask questions.
TheFEAR of FEELING INFERIOR … which entices one to focus on themselves and preserve their superior status with clients at all costs.
For me I summarize the message as a “service provider” to SERVE FIRST. When I truly serve, it is all about the other person and not about me … and that enables me to step through any fear and “get naked.”
For specific ideas on how to overcome these three fears, see Patrick’s full model at http://bit.ly/9CBkf7 and check out the book.
I recently finished watching the series “Band of Brothers” for the first time. I was wholly moved by Part 9 titled, “Why We Fight.” The men from Easy Company have experienced the trials of war for several years. They have held their line at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge. The men are at the breaking point due to heavy resistance and nearly a month of being barraged by German artillery on the front line. The soldiers are demoralized, bitter, weary, and emotions are frayed. They have lost comrades and friends and seen horrific things that will forever seer their memories. In a spirit of despair and anger, you can sense the internal questions punctuated with curse words … “Why are we ***** fighting? Why the ***** are we doing this? What’s the ***** point?”
Then out of the blue, totally unexpected, Easy Company comes across a concentration camp. In an instant, the reasons “why we fight” become crystal clear.
I was struck by how this pattern is real in life. Often there are prolonged periods of hard work, toil, labor, economic recession, financial pressure, relationship stress, conflict, fatigue, networking, marketing, studying, exercising, training, practicing, and so on. You name it. I’m sure you can name your own “battles.”
And then there are the moments, usually unforeseen, that suddenly make the “fighting” worth it. A moment of intimacy, an outstanding performance or victory, reaching a goal or milestone, a new skill that suddenly clicks, inspiring someone to achieve, hearing “I love you” from your child, the birth of a child, getting the job you love, experiencing a “God-sighting.” These are the moments in life when awareness produces clarity, and the purpose of our work is revealed. Keep fighting for those moments that are beyond your current vision …
I have been pouring the majority of my thoughts and actions into a new coaching initiative. A few days before “launch,” I ran into a significant obstacle. Specifically, the name for the initiative could not be used due to an existing trademark. Dang! I felt the demons of doubt, discouragement, disappointment, disillusionment … and came face-to-face with the fundamental question, “How bad do you want it?!” I was forced to ask myself … “Am I willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen?” “Am I really serious?”
It caused me to pause and really look at what I wanted to do – which was a gift. While difficult, I am appreciative of the experience because it is making me stronger and will make the initiative stronger. I learned the difference between being passionate about something – and thus willing to push forward – and being simply interested in something – and willing to give it up. Either is acceptable … clarity is critical. Avoid doing whatever it takes for something you are only interested in … and avoid giving up too soon for something you are passionate about. As for me, I am moving forward and pressing on.
What challenges are you facing? Where are you facing doubt, discouragement, disappointment, disillusionment? Your business? Your employer? Your marriage? Your relationships? Are you willing to do whatever it takes … investing money / savings, going into debt, being open / honest / vulnerable and sharing your truth, being patient and waiting (my hardest challenge!), taking a risk, surrendering? What is it for you? How bad do you want it?!
“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.” –Hebbel
Twice a year for the past several years I have taken the train from Kansas City to Galesburg, Illinois – going there in the morning, meeting with my client in the afternoon, and returning that same evening. While I would not choose to do this very often, I do love the nostalgia and reminiscence. As I write this, sitting across the table from me are two little Amish girls. To my left a young couple is playing a game with their daughter. People behind me are playing cards. The sun is setting on green corn fields. In a few minutes we will cross the mighty Mississippi at Fort Madison, Iowa, and a bit later cross the Missouri River. (I’m trying to forget that we are running 90 minutes behind schedule!)
Trust me, the train attracts a very diverse crowd. This train – the Southwest Chief – starts in Chicago and will end up in Los Angeles. Some of the people who got on the train with me have 20+ hours ahead of them until their destination (I have about 4.5 hours plus – the only thing predictable about a train is that it will lose time). As I observe the people and listen to them, I always wonder to myself – what is their story? How did they come to be on this train at this time in their life? I imagine where they are coming from and where they are going. I muse on the possible circumstances leading up to this moment.
And then I begin to reflect on what they think about me – probably wondering what is my story?! Who is this guy staking out the table and working on his computer? What’s up with him?!
In a world of planes and highways and timelines and schedules … it is good to take the train now and then, and embrace the story of life rather than the speed of life.
I recently read that clutter experts say we USE about 20 percent of what we own but we MAINTAIN 100 percent! That represents a huge opportunity to unfetter. How much is enough? Define it for yourself. I am terrible at gathering and retaining too much stuff. I feel the need to always have an “extra” or something “just in case.” The crazy thing is that I use and appreciate my favorite things less because I have too many or too much and feel the need to use them all. I will wear this pair of uncomfortable shoes because I have them and I haven’t worn them in awhile. I have to justify my retention!
A couple of strategies … accumulate less, share more, and just eliminate. Stop adding more stuff – or have a rule that for everything that you buy, you must give away or de-accumulate a quantity equal to or greater than what you added. Share and give things away without desiring anything in return. Bless others with your generosity. And finally, seek-and-destroy those things that have worn out their welcome in your life … one room, drawer, closet at a time.
Everything you own, owns you. You are free in parallel with the quantity of things you can do without.
Walk into a Starbucks or most any coffee shop and they will ask whether or not you want “room.” Usually I request “no room.” “Room” refers to the amount of room left between the level of coffee in the cup and the top edge of the cup. Typically, if you want to add sugar and/or cream you ask for “room” which results in space in the cup to add either or both. Or, if you simply want a safety margin so as not to spill, you would also ask for “room.” If not, you say “no room” like I frequently do to maximize the coffee.